Principle 2: Nurture your fondness and admiration

NURTURE YOUR FONDNESS AND ADMIRATION

Work to increase/recall/unearth positive emotions about each other. The ‘fondness’ and ‘admiration’ aspects of couple relatedness are the antidote to contempt – it is a buffer to stressors due to a fundamentally positive view of each other. If current relational situation seems negative, the therapist may want to look to the past for positive times/basis. Fondness and admiration prevents the ‘four horsemen’. Without Fondness and admiration, the relationship has little if any basis. Increasing discussions (acknowledging and open discussion) of the positives of the partner will help the fondness and admiration.