Principle 7: Creating Shared Meaning

CREATING SHARED MEANING

• One can have a happy marriage, but some people look for a spiritual connection – finding meaning in the togetherness beyond the mere joint tasks of family life. Symbols and rituals are helpful. There is a family “culture’ (which may change and the partners develop), which gives shared meaning to their sense of togetherness.
• There may be dreams that each partner has which cannot work well together with the other partner’s dreams. But the “shared meaning” couple looks beyond that: discuss convictions in a way which blends each of the partner’s sense of meaning. A discussion of core values can be used to further the couple’s shared meaning perhaps use family legacies to prime such a discussion.
• The shared meanings will strengthen the marital friendship [which actually the first three principles try to do]. Shared meaning questionnaire – looks at the rituals of connection, roles, goals and symbols meant to stimulate thought about the couple’s shared meaning situation. Shared meaning takes years to build.